How he got Mononucleosis
by Mannequin Republic
Summary: What if when Harry called Charlie to say Jacob got Mono. What if he actually did! How and why did he get it? Read to find out!


**AN:** I hope you like it! Please R&R! It's also rated M for a reason. *wink wink* I decided to write a story if Jacob really got Mono, how and why'd he get it? Read to find out!

**A couple of days before the movie (Crosshairs) Also, in my story, Embry hasn't phased, yet.**

**Jacob POV**

Damn school. I hate it! I don't see why we kids have to go to it. C'mon, we learn more stuff from the TV anyway. Who even listens to these crappy teachers? I don't anyway, the only thing I dream about is-

"Hey Jake!" Quil yelled and cut my fantasies short. I walked up to him.

"Sup guys?" I asked.

"Nothin'," Embry said.

"Everything!" Quil yelled. How did I ever make friends with this weirdo? Oh yeah, that's right, I remember.

_FLASHBACK_

_I picked up my toy clown off the sand. He was so cool. Daddy, bought him for me, Rach and Becky got dollies from mummy. Rach and Becky thinks Mr. Clownyface is scary. I don't think he's scary, he's cool! _

"_Hey Jacob. What are you doing with that doll?" Paul asked me. Paul is a scary guy. He always hurts me._

"_Nothing," I said, backing away._

"_Why aren't you showing me? Is it a Barbie doll?" Paul asked. Jared (his evil minion friend) started to laugh._

"_No, it's Mr. Clownyface," I said. Paul and Jared started to laugh at me, suddenly; Paul grabbed Mr. Clownyface and ripped his head open. "MR. CLOWNYFACE!!" I yelled and started to cry. _

"_Hey you!" I saw this boy with short hair run up to us._

"_Are you talking to me?" Paul asked._

"_Yeah, I am! Why did you do that? You don't hurt other people's toys! Now I have to hurt you!" He said as he kicked Paul and Jared. Paul started to cry._

"_Stop that, it hurts!" Jared cried._

"_Yeah, stop that!" Paul said. They both ran away leaving Mr. Clownyface ripped and dead on the ground._

"_Are you okay?" The boy asked me. _

"_Yeah, thanks for hurting Paul and Jared, I haven't seen you before," I said, wiping the sand of my overalls. _

"_My mum never let me play with other people, I'm Quil," Quil said._

"_I'm Jacob," I said, we shook hands. "Do you want to be friends?" I asked, hoping he'd say yes._

"_Sure!" He said. We both smiled._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Jacob, Jacooob?! Anyone home?" Embry asked waving his hands in front of my face.

"Oh sorry, I was just thinking," I said.

"Thinking about that girl you always hang with? What's her name, Ella? Elli? Elizabeth? Eliza?-" I cut him short.

"It's Bella, you loser!" I said.

"Oh yeah, Bella! How's she? You dating her, yet?" Quil asked.

"We're not dating, were just…friends!" I grimaced at the word. I don't know how much I wished I was more than just her friend.

"For now," Embry whispered.

"I heard that you idiot!" I smacked Embry on his head.

"You were supposed to," he smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh my god! Nicole Dan is staring at you!" Quil said to me.

"Who?!" I asked. Who the hell is Nicole Dan? I don't think I have met anyone in my entire life whose name is that.

"You don't know who Nicole Dan is? You don't know?! She is Senior's most popular girl! And she is staring at you!" Quil said as he started at this blonde girl with big boobs and sleazy clothes. She started to walk up to us. "Oh my god, she's coming up to us!" Quil exclaimed. She walked close to me, one of her friends started to laugh.

"Hi, I'm Nicole and you are?" She asked me, flirting by leaning forward so we had a good look of her boobs. But, I was unaffected by her charm. My eyes were on Bella Swan.

"Jacob Black, how are ya?" I asked whilst I leant back and offered my hand. She eyed my hand then she shook it.

"Boys, can you leave Jacob and myself for a sec, I need to have a little _talk _with him," She twisted the word talk. Quil nodded although his eyes were on her shirt and Embry just shrugged, unaffected like me. They then both walked away. "So, Jacob; you gotta girlfriend?" She asked.

"Uh, no," I answered, not knowing whether to say yes or not.

"Well that's good 'cos, I don't have a boyfriend," she said as she leaned close to me. "Why don't we meet up after school," she said. She grabbed my collar and pulled me down, closer to her. Her boobs were touching my chest.

"Uh, I-I'm meeting my friend today," I said. She smiled deviously.

"C'mon, you can see you friend all the time but you can only _see_ me today," she said. It was like she was implying for me to see her full- Oh god! She wants to have sex with me!

"I better not," I said, trying to twist out of her grip.

"Yes we are, after school, oval. You don't need to bring condoms, I'm on a pill," she whispered in my ear then pushed me off and walked away. I staggered back, shocked by her. I quickly caught up Quil and Embry.

"What did she say?" Quil asked me.

"She s-said, she wants to have sex with me," I said, still shocked at how she said it.

"WHAT?!" Quil yelled, "She said it so bluntly?"

"No, no. She said, 'You don't need to bring condoms, I'm on a pill'" I said, trying to put the last part in a girl voice.

"Whoa man! Are you gonna do it?" Embry asked.

"Nup! Just stall her up! My eyes are only for Bella," I said. Embry nodded.

"No, Jake, you should. So when you and Bella have your little time together, you'd know what to do! C'mon, you said she dated that Cullen freak, they must've been humping trees for as long as she remembers!" Quil said. He had a point; Bella must be a genius at it.

"Fine, but I'll lose my virginity!" I said.

"Virginity, mirginity! Who freaking cares? Be a man! Do the right thing! (A-N: That's from Russell Peters)" Quil said.

"Fine," I said glumly, this will NOT be fun.

After School

I saw Nicole sitting on the grass on our school oval. She looked like she was meditating.

"Nicole!" I yelled and ran to her. She looked back and it looked like she grimaced but I couldn't be quite sure.

"Jacob. Hey, you ready?" She asked, smiling evilly. I frowned.

"Right here? On the oval?" I asked.

"No, you dumbass, I gotta a place where we can go," She said, getting of the grass and pulling me. She kept pulling me and finally we got to a little hut.

"What's this?" I asked.

"My father made me this; he said it could be my little getaway from life. It has the _essentials_ a bed and things," she said and pulled me on the bed. She started to kiss me, roughly. It was really rough.

"Are you sure, you want to do this?" I asked when she started to kiss my jaw line and my throat.

"Of course," she said. She started to pull my shirt over showing my 6 pack. I started to work out in the gym last year and got this after awhile. "Nice 6 pack, you should were no shirts, it looks good," she said looking me straight in the eye.

"But it's cold!" I joked. She apparently didn't get my joke.

"On Summer days you asshole," she said and she started to pull down my zip on my jeans. I stopped her hands.

"Uh, let's take off your shirt first," I said trying to delay the process.

"Why? It'd be better if we take your pants off," she said as she undid my top button of the jeans. I sighed; let's get this over and done with. She pulled down my jeans so I was only left in my boxers. "Nice body, Jacob," she said as roamed her hands over my body and started to passionately kiss my mouth again. He tongue slithered in as she tasted my mouth all along it. It was like she was trying to put her saliva in my mouth as she kissed me weirdly. She then pulled my boxers down whilst she kissed me. She then stopped and looked. "Oh my god. That is so tiny!" She said pointing at my dick, she started to laugh.

"It's not tiny," I defended. "I just, just haven't grown up yet!" I said.

"Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. Nice, I guess I'll see you later. Have fun with the Mononucleosis! It's really annoying! The constant heat and pain; see you at school!" She said as she slid off the bed and ran quickly out of the door. Her words ran through my mind. She set me up! She gave me Mono! No wonder why she was kissing me weirdly! God, I'm such an idiot to believe she wanted me! Oh no, Mono? I've never got it before! Damn it! There is only one thing to learn from this.

Never trust girls!

One month later (Jacob has phased)

I quickly ran to school. "Hey Jake!" Quil said as he patted my back.

"Hey, sup?" I asked.

"Nothing much! How's Bella? Is she slowly getting better from her depression over the bloodsucker?" Quil asked. Embry showed up.

"Hey guys!" He said.

"Hi, and for your answer Quil, she's getting a bit better," I said. "I need to go to the toilet catch you guys later," I said. They both nodded and headed to class. Suddenly; I saw Nicole Dan staring at me. I started to growl at myself, I hated her! She made me so embarrassed! Giving me Mono for a few weeks! She started to walk up to me.

"Hey, I'm Nicole; I don't think I've seen you 'round here. You new?" She asked.

"Nup!" I answered harshly. It was true that I did look a lot different. I never wore shirts I had a very prominent 8 pack and my hair is short and always jelled.

"Really? What's your name?" She asked.

"Oh, I think you know me," I said looking straight at her in her eyes.

"Really? Tell me your name so I can know," she said.

"You set me up! You gave me Mono, I freaking was in bed for a couple of weeks and never came to school! I HATE YOU NICOLE DAN!" I yelled at her. She looked shocked.

"No fucking way. Jacob?" She asked.

"Yes, it's me, now get away!" I yelled.

"Wow, you look hot!" She said, she was undressing me with her eyes even though the only thing I was wearing was my shorts.

"I know I do, so please get away if you don't want to get hurt," I said. She turned away and walked away, luckily I have werewolf hearing so I heard her mutter to herself.

"Damn it! Why didn't I keep him?! I could've gotten that body!" She mumbled. I laughed, never mess with the Jacobnator!

**The End! Hope you liked it! This story was eating me alive! Please Review! I love reviews!**


End file.
